• Ben Potter

What we learned from an online dating coach!

We had the incredible opportunity of getting some time to speak with Steve from Dateworking, an online dating consulting service.


Steve has written many articles about online dating such as Is There Room in the Market for a New Dating App? and Recipes for Human Connection. After discovering some of his articles, we realized that we had to learn from him. After all, we were looking to build an app that connects people, and that is something that Steve thinks about every day at work!


"How can apps better clarify intent?" 🤔


Capturing both realtime intent and future trajectory can be an immensely tricky process, because realtime intent, per its name, may change from one moment to the next. Let’s consider two Tinder users, both of whom share an future trajectory of consistent escalation into a committed relationship.

-Steve Dean, The Two Greatest Failures of Modern Dating Apps


Especially because of COVID-19, Steve explains, general dating apps have not been good at clarifying intent, which can often lead to a lot of stress through "meaningless conversations."

Steve explained that specialized apps are a great way for people to find what they are looking for. For example, HumHum is an app that focuses on speed dating through mindfulness and meditation. On another note, Steve introduces to FilterOff, another app that takes a lot of the BS out of dating through you quick video chat dates with another person.


"What makes people interested in meeting online?" 🤔


Steve explains the importance of having a good profile/persona online. Most people, especially those who are self-proclaimed "old-schools" are not good at expressing themselves online.


When Tinder added the ability for people to link their Instagram and Spotify profiles, it made it a lot easier for people to get the general sense of somebody's character.


Overall, people suck at filling out their dating profiles 👎🏽


When you are able to get picture of somebody's character, you will feel "alignment" and be more willing to chat or meet up.


"In a COVID world, are people fine with meeting online?"


Steve tells us about HouseParty, which he believes is a "close-to-perfect" example of an online meeting app. Houseparty is great because it allows you to connect with your friends at any time, as well as with friends-of-friends.


However, Steve also talks about the value of a safe, physical space in a time like this. His example was an outdoor sunset viewing area which can be a safe place for people to hangout. Areas like that with a good vibe can be a place for people to meet, discuss things, and connect with each other in a time when we all feel so disconnected.


Steve had areas like this on his college campus, and he would love going there to meet new people or hang out with his friends. Before COVID, Steve was running group events in a food court with a prompt for people to talk and get to know eachother.


Some of our takeaways ✅


While we are still digesting a lot of the things that Steve talked about, there are a few things that we have learned and would like to do:

  • Try out some of the apps that do a good job connecting people 📱

  • Explore ways to better "convey" a person through their profile 🧔🏽

  • Look into safe ways to facilitate positive spaces on campus 🏡

And we will be sure to share the results with you on our blog! Stay tuned 🙂

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